"Are You Happy?"

I hate New Years.

I'm currently alone in my flat, drinking a glass of red wine, listening to the fireworks down the road. Funnily enough though, I'm not feeling down about it. I could have gone to Brixton to see in the New Year with Pickled Lily and the Stig, or stayed at work (where I've been all day til about an hour ago), or joined Charolastra No.1 in Camden Road, or joined any of the various of The Cats strewn around London Town, but somehow I ended up here. And, with the week/month/year I've just had, I think it makes sense. Plus, I've had a bit of champagne at work and haven't eaten, so would likely have gotten sicky-drunk, which is never a good way to start the year. It's the first New Year that I can remember without Pickled Lily, which is a bit weird, but we're doing our own New Year's on Saturday - we always were just that little bit late for everything anyway!

I might go to bed. I'm the least stressed I've been all day, feeling pretty warm and tired.

"Hello Wednesday Girl. How was your Christmas?"
"Are you happy?" ".. No. But it's not her, it's my life."
"You should stay here. Have a drink, stay with us."
"When I see you walking with her, I have to cover my eyes.."
"You have to decide what you're doing now, so that I can make plans."
"Can you come upstairs please."
"Are we meeting up then, little Firefly?"
"Yeah, Wednesday Girl, because it was all my fault, wasn't it."
"I think the world of her. And I know she thinks the world of me ..even if there's nothing really there.."

Things that are playing through my mind as the year begins. All over again.