The Natasha Syndrome.

So it's taken me a few days to be able to write this, and let's try and ignore the link between this piece of news and the stupid thing I did yesterday..

I found out last week that Darcy is seeing his ex girlfriend. As in seeing his ex girlfriend. As in full blown couple. As in his "Oh, it's all in the past, I barely even speak to her, I never felt about her the way I feel about you" ex girlfriend.

I actually met her on our second date - where he took me to his country house in Wiltshire for a gorgeous romantic minibreak which was entirely destroyed by the surprise presence of some of his countrified pimms-a-clock arses of friends, and his judgemental jodhpur-clad skinny blonde pearl-and-cardigan-wearing Stepford-esque humourless husk of an ex girlfriend who all together made me feel like some tatty Ab-Fab junkie from the city. I spent the entire night secretly comparing myself to her and genuinely wondering what he saw in her/saw in me.

It's the bloody tall sleek girl syndrome. No matter how confident and comfortable in my own skin, and proud of all my eccentricities, and my clothes, and my friends and my life I am, I will always feel like a silly little girl when faced with a tall, sleek-haired, well-put-together girl. You know the type. They're a rare, but intimidating breed. I like to call it the Natasha (pronounced Nataaahsha) Syndrome, as I can think of no more perfect a comparison than when Carrie Bradshaw meets Natasha for the first time, Big's new fiancee from Paris. Carrie stumbles into them at a party, and there she is - tall, dark shiny hair, cleanly silhouetted in one long plain but elegant dress, looking clean and crisp like linen, in the way only those kind of women can, and Carrie stumbles into her, holding a cocktail and wearing a bikini and a straw cowboy hat.

This is how girls like Darcy's ex make me feel. Although I may have spent the night looking gorgeous, making clever and witty conversation, being the smart, interesting person that I am - put me next to a Natasha girl and suddenly I'm wearing a bikini and a cowboy hat, feeling utterly foolish.