Crimes Against Fair Flirting.

Well this is just fucking ridiculous. Obviously.

So I spend weeks (lets pretend it's not months) waiting for Rocket Boy to ask me out. And he doesn't because - well first because he has a girlfriend, and then because he's just broken up with his girlfriend, and then because he's just really shit, and then because he's scared of me or whatever, and then because he's out finding a new girlfriend. And a while passes, and when I next see him he somehow makes me ask him out, which obviously never materialises because, surprise surprise - he's as shit as ever.

Then I decide actually I can't be bothered with drama and confusion and all the stuff that goes with having shitty people in your life/head, so I forget about it and start an amazing job, and move to a brilliant flat, and after a month or so of settling in and being a social hermit for the benefit of my sanity, I emerge from my cocoon to go to a party and (courtesy of a beautiful, wonderful girl I know through Charolastra No.1) spend the night chatting to a cute, nice guy. Who is so interesting that I find myself having such a good time that I forget to leave the party, and find myself kissing him at the bus stop. And I'm pleasantly reminded of what it's like to be attracted to a guy who isn't completely fucking useless. So I spend the next few days casually wondering if he might call, and if he was serious about going for that drink.. Then guess who I get a text from?

Yeah, you got it. Stupid useless even-shittier-this-time Rocket Boy.. 'Hello poppet. How are you? What are you doing tonight? x'

So I text him back, then realise that because I've accidentally left my phone off I've gotten his text 2 days late - so the moment has passed. He finally nearly, sort of, almost asks me out, and I miss it. And now I'm going to spend the next week (lets pretend it's not a month) waiting for him to text me. Which he won't. Because he's shit. And even though I know this, I'll still be annoyed that he hasn't texted. And if by some miracle he does text me, I'll be so relieved that I'll forget that I was so annoyed and I'll text him straight back, and he won't reply because he's so shit.. and the whole thing will just never end until either he finally grows some bollocks and asks me out, or I finally crack and execute him for crimes against fair flirting.

For fucks sake.